Tag Archives: Dr. Suess

Never Any Soap in This House

Oldest, 21.  Youngest two, 18.

English: A white bar of soap in a light blue p...

(With apologies to Dr. Suess.)

One of our children

It matters not who

Stepped into our room with

“Bad news for you”

Yes, we both asked

With wondering eyes

What could it be

The source of these sighs

This child, quite tortured

Delivered the news

That not a room in the house

Had bubblety-poo!

Did you look in our tub

Did you check in the hall

Have you looked in the cupboard

Yes; the answer to all

Then, we were told

Of a long-standing grouse

There’s NEVER, it seems

Any soap in this house

We hung our heads low

With shock and with shame

Had we really been guilty

Such a piercing claim

The neighbors, should they hear

Could cause us much nervousness

Skimping on bubbles?

They’ll contact Child Services

So, that night, in bed

With my inconsolable wife

I closed my red eyes

And dreamed of less strife

Of a world created

By future generations

With helpful inventions

And wondrous machinations

A box, perhaps

Sitting on wheels

Rolling individuals

Towards buildings with deals

All of it organized

With things to help cope

Shelves filled with food and

In aisles, bricks of soap

Never, in this future

Would teens ever go dirty

They’d hop in their box

And they’d come home with thirty

But, morning arrived

I slunk down the stairs

To face filthy children

My dirt-caked heirs

I told them of the dream

An unrealistic hope

To someday hear the phrase

Mom, I bought us more soap


“Hey, dad?”

 Sorry – got to go.  More later.


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